A lot has been written about how much (or how little) screen time is healthy for children. The discussion about how much screen time is healthy for parents has been neglected, by comparison. But I think it’s increasingly important.

Well, for parents read ‘all adults with smart devices’, but it’s the implications for parents I’m interested in. We’re constantly connected through our smartphones, and increasingly our tablets too.

These devices are on at the touch of a button and the swipe of a lock-screen, ready to deliver us work emails, tweets, Facebook updates, news headlines – sidebars of shame included – games and a blizzard of notifications from all manner of apps.

Our smart devices are always to hand, ready to attract and hold our attention at a moment’s notice. Increasingly, I’m wondering if we’re at most danger of too much screen time, rather than our children. Although in both cases, it’s kids who may be affected.

Some questions:

- Have you ever had to ask a child to repeat what they just said, because you were distracted by something on your phone?

- When your children are finally sat down eating their dinner, is your first reaction to pull out a device?

- Have you ever sat in a park checking emails on your phone while your children play?

- Has your child ever said a variation of ‘Why are you always looking at your phone, daddy?’

I’m not judging here: I can answer yes to all of those. Right now, I’m thinking hard about how my device use – my screen time – affects my whole life, including my parenting. It’s something I need to work on, to say the least.

Yesterday, I went down to the bottom of the garden with my five year-old, in theory to read his school reading book (as it turned out, we ended up poking at bits of cut-down tree and trying to spot crickets). I deliberately left my phone in the house, and the experience was 70% marvellous, and 30% sudden moments of panic that I couldn’t check for new emails.

Over time, I hope that ratio will tip rather more towards the marvellous side. While some of the screen time that takes me away from my children is unavoidable – work – other parts of it are very much under my control. Or should be, at least.

A lot of children love playing games, watching TV and using apps, but it’s a sobering thought to realise that often, what they love even more than those activities is proper, undistracted attention from a parent.

I worry that while many parents naturally assume the role of telling their children that they’ve had enough screen time, few kids have the chutzpah to take that very same role for their parents – even if they’re craving that attention.

That’s not to say that devices and digital stuff can’t be the fuel for that attention. I’ve also been thinking recently a lot about the idea of ‘shared screen time’ – whether it’s playing Minecraft with your children, cuddling up on the sofa watching Doctor Who, or (friendly) competition to see who can get the highest score in the nut-catching bit of the Gruffalo Games app.

(Whenever I post a high score, my seven year-old demolishes it almost immediately. His hand-eye co-ordination skills are mightily impressive, although we’re still working on the ‘not bragging, taunting or being smug about it’ thing…)

Screen time can’t always be shared: sometimes TV, games and apps are an opportunity for parents to Get Things Done: cooking dinner, hanging up washing or simply recharging our energy with a much-needed cup of tea. I’ve never looked down on solo screen time as a part of family life.

Even so, at the moment, I’m increasingly drawn to apps that lend themselves to children and parents using them together, as well as console games with co-operative modes. I’m more inclined to sit down and watch a CBBC drama with my children – dinner, washing and cuppa duties allowing – and talk about it.

Shared screen time, it turns out, can be rewarding just like other shared activities from playing to reading. I’d be the first to admit that I have lots of work to do, but I’m trying to think more about what I’m doing when I’m with my children, nudging more of my screen time into the ‘shared’ category, and dropping as much of the rest of it as possible.

There are bigger pressures on parents here: for many who are already trying to be more present for their children, there’s a pressure that comes with that to be constantly connected for work: to prove that they can juggle family and work commitments – most often by staying on top of their inbox, I suspect. Solving this is a wider challenge for modern corporate culture, rather than individual parents.

Even so, the change for me has been to stop worrying (as much) about my children’s screen time, and to start thinking more about my own screen time, and how I can bring it under control.

What do you think, though? Have you ever had these kind of thoughts, and if so, what did you do about them? Could more parents do with setting restrictions on their own screen time, and if so, what might be good ways to set about that task? Please do share your views in the comments section.