We can only apologise for this. As soon as we got our hands on Toca Boca’s new Toca Mini character creation app, we realised that it’s not really for children at all.

Well, obviously it is, a bit. But mainly it’s for parents to make dreadful virtual versions of Chewbacca, Miley Cyrus and Daft Punk. Don’t believe us? Here’s the proof:

It’s-a-me, Mario! And my friend Pikachu, whose ears have unfathomably retracted so he looks more like Sooty!

London mayor Boris Johnson and Star Wars legend Chewbacca. There’s an unruly-hair theme here, obviously.

Freddie Mercury and Kanye West. We should explain that they were two of our first creations, before we’d realised how to get hair on top of Toca Mini characters’ heads (pro tip: you paint it on using the paint tool, rather than using the hair-stamps). That’s why they’ve both got bald spots.

Old Justin Bieber and current Miley Cyrus. Also with bald spots.

Daft Punk. Daft Punk! Actually, this isn’t atrocious, it may be my best achievement in a career of journalism. Just look at them!

Can you do better? Obviously, yes. Toca Mini costs £1.99 for iPhone and iPad on Apple’s App Store if you want to prove it.